


Pulling Off His Wings

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-05-29
Updated: 2002-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-20 19:43:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11342010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Krycek makes a difficult decision with a little help from Mulder.





	Pulling Off His Wings

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

Pulling Off His Wings

## Pulling Off His Wings

#### by Hammerhead

From: "Hammerhead <" <> Date: Monday, September 17, 2001 8:33 PM 

Here is the beta'd version of my lyric wheel story. The former title was "Dirt" but no one liked it:) 

Title: Pulling Off His Wings*  
Author: Hammerhead  
Disclaimer: Not mine, I'd treat them better. Rating: slash; PG for language and implied m/m sex Notes: A huge thanks to Satina for sending me such interesting lyrics! Thanks as always to Kachera for being my partner in crime and for all the encouragement. Thanks also to the Portland Slashers Group for the beta help, pizza and vodka colins!  
Summary: Krycek makes a difficult decision with a little help from Mulder. 

* * *

**PULLING OFF HIS WINGS**

Startled out of a deep sleep, Alex Krycek reached out from under the warm blankets to grab the ringing phone. "Krycek" 

"Alex, I'll be at the motel in 20 minutes." Mulder's voice was soft and secretive but Alex was used to that. 

"I'll be there." Alex hung up the phone and wondered for the hundredth time what the hell he was doing. He should've said no, he shouldn't have even picked up the phone. By now he knew that the only person calling him at 1:00am on a Tuesday night would be a horny Mulder. 

He slowly dragged himself out of bed and rummaged through his drawers for a pair of jeans, socks and underwear. Grabbing a shirt out of the laundry basket he slipped it over his sleep-rumpled hair and headed into the bathroom. Looking at his reflection in the mirror he couldn't help but notice the utter blankness in the face that stared back at him. He was going to have a secret rendezvous with his lover, shouldn't he be excited? Instead he just felt tired. 

He brushed his teeth and ran a comb through his unruly hair before grabbing his coat and heading out the door. Getting into the car he was once again hit by the absurdity of this secret meeting. He liked Mulder, he liked him a lot. When the older agent had come on to him one night after a difficult case and a few drinks, he was thrilled to be taken to his bed. They'd had sex that night in a nondescript hotel in whatever bum-fuck little town that the case had led them to. 

He smiled a little as he remembered that first night. They sex had been extraordinary even if Mulder had seemed a little cold and distant afterward. The next day everything seemed to go back to normal including his annoying habit of putting Alex down and treating him like an errand boy. They didn't talk about the night before or make any move in that direction again until a few weeks later when Mulder called late at night and asked Alex to meet him at a hotel. 

At first he had been thrilled that Mulder actually wanted him and with visions of a relationship dancing in his head he'd driven to the hotel, but those hopes had been dashed. It was the same hotel he was driving to tonight and he was sure the results tonight would be the same as that night a few months ago. 

The lights would be off, he would strip, they would have sex, he would go home. No words, no affection, nothing but meaningless sex in the dark with a warm body. 

Alex pulled into his "usual" parking spot at the rear of the building, next to Mulder's black Ford and just sat in his car with the lights off. Never had Mulder acknowledged their relationship in public or even been nice to him outside of this hotel. Why was he doing this to himself? Shit, love could make you such a fool. 

This whole "affair" made him feel dirty. Dirty deep down to his soul. But isn't that what he was? A dirty white boy from the wrong side of the tracks who had always been used by rich and powerful men? His mind drifted to the shadowy men who had plagued most of his career since college. They had offered him quick advancement, intrigue and money. For a boy who had been raised by a poor lower-class family in New York it was the chance of a lifetime. Now he wasn't so sure their motives were pure. Life was getting complicated. 

He got out of the car and made his was to the hotel door then just stood there and stared. He knew that if he used the key and went in he would lose another piece of himself, a piece of his already damaged soul. What was wrong with him? Was he such a bad person that he didn't deserve to be loved, to be acknowledged in public or to be an equal partner at work? 

Are you worried what your friends will see, Mulder? Will it ruin your reputation if you get caught loving me? Fuck, not like you have much of a reputation to protect in the first place. I guess adding faggot to your spooky reputation was not on the schedule this week. 

The Consortium had approached him about an assignment, an assignment that would forever turn Mulder against him if he found out. They wanted that redheaded bitch out of the way permanently and had given Alex the orders to do it. He was to help her "disappear" and make it look like Mulder was to blame. Alex knew what that would do to Mulder, how much it would hurt both his cause and his heart. Sadly, at this moment he couldn't bring himself to care. 

It would be the end of any hope Alex had for a real relationship with Mulder. Fuck, like he had that now. As he put the key in the door and turned the lock he knew that he would accept the assignment, he would end these games with Mulder and save his own soul. 

* * *

Dirty White Boy  
(Mike Jones/Lou Gramm) 

Hey, baby, if you're feelin' down  
I know what's good for you all day  
Are you worried what your friends will see Will it ruin your reputation lovin' me 

'Cause I'm a dirty white boy  
A dirty white boy  
A dirty white boy 

Don't drive no big black car  
Don't like no Hollywood movie star  
You want me to be true to you  
Don't give a damn what I do to you 

I'm just a dirty white boy  
Dirty white boy (3) 

Well, I'm a dirty white boy  
Dirty white boy (4) 

I been in trouble since I don't know when I'm in trouble now and I now somehow I'll find trouble again I'm a loner, but I'm never alone  
Every night I get one step closer to the danger zone 

'Cause I'm a dirty white boy  
Dirty white boy  
I'm a dirty white boy  
Dirty white boy 

C'mon, c'mon boy  
White boy  
I'm a dirty white boy  
Dirty white boy  
Well, I'm a dirty white boy  
I'm a dirty white boy  
Dirty white boy 

  * Title taken from "Blonde and Blue" by the Headstones off the CD Nickels for Your Nightmares. 



* * *

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Hammerhead 


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